Excitement might be creeping in

Thanks for all the congrats!!

As I mentioned, I'm scheduled for my first u/s next Tuesday. Until then I'm using my IUI date to figure how far along I am. Which means today I'm 4w4d. This is when it all went bad last time. Hubby and I were in Cabo with four other couples and I saw the first sign of spotting. I tried not to panic, but I'm not a spotter and never have been. It got heavier and then the cramping started. I knew even before I bought a test at some random drugstore. The test confirmed what I feared - it was negative.

I try not to think about that experience, but today it's front and center in my mind. I'm starting to let myself get a little excited, but don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I'm still having some cramping, but not as much as the past few days. Absolutely no spotting - and believe me I'm examining for the tiniest of color change. I'm hoping if I can get through today without anything bad happening, I'll start to relax a little more.

Hubby has been working some long days, so we haven't had a chance to really spend time together since the weekend when we were both still in shock. I mentioned that my betas were pretty high which could mean twinsies. I think we're both ok with that. At this point, we just want everything to be ok and will deal with any unexpected (yet pleasant) surprises that may show up.

There was one point when I woke up this morning that I thought to myself "huh, I'm pregnant" and then I smiled. I think it's the cautious excitement creeping further and further into my head. I kind of like it!