Today is 11dpiui and I'm starting to go a little nuts. I've been overanalyzing every twinge, pinch, tweak, twist, soreness and tickle for the past three days. I mentioned to hubby last night that I really, really wanted to POAS this morning (Sidebar: The one time I did get a BFP it first showed up 11dpo. It was faint but visible enough that both hubby and I saw it). He took one look at me, said no and walked out of the room. He knows me too well. If he had even wavered in his answer for one second, I would have took that to mean it was OK. What I didn't tell him is that I POAS Tuesday night while he was out of town (9dpiui, and Wednesday was his birthday...wouldn't it have been a great birthday present to tell him we got a BFP?!?!) But I know I was bad, bad, bad. I couldn't help myself. The Ovidrel was out of my system by that point so I figured why not? I swear I saw the faintest of faint lines, but I'm almost positive that I willed the line to be there and in reality it was too early to show up.
Now I'm scared to go to the bathroom for fear of what lurks on the TP when I wipe. My last few cycles have only had 10-11 day luteal phases, so I'm definitely in the midst of the danger zone. But this is my first cycle with progesterone during the luteal phase, so I really don't know what to expect.
In the interest of trying to keep what little sanity I have left this cycle, I'm going to live in my fairytale land and pretend that all the little twinges and pinches I'm feeling are just my ute stretching for the baby that's burrowing in for the next nine months. Because if I think anything else right now I just might lose my shit!
Praying so very hard that the shadow of a line you saw is the REAL DEAL come testing day. When are you breaking out the HPT with hubs??!?!?!? xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks Egg...me too! I'd like to test tomorrow morning, but hubby might make me wait until Saturday. The doctor told me not to test until Sunday but there is NO WAY I can wait that long;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment (I love getting comments!). It sounds like we have a lot in common...age, midwest, NYC, infertility, etc. I look forward to reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteBefore I started the IUI route where they are so specific about when they want you to test, I totally went by the advertising on the box. 6 days before your period! I was on it. And when I did get my BFPs, it usually came pretty early. The waiting for a single big Test Day kills me!! Made me totally psycho last cycle. I think I might go back to my strategy of testing early, accepting BFNs as probable but not 100% and retesting every few days til AF. I'm such a wimp - I need to ease into my results!!
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