A little bit of zen

I've been an active person all my life. For the past six years I've been into triathlons and running races. I've cut back my races since my first Clomid cycle, but not eliminated working out. It's my release. It's how I cope. It's what keeps me sane.

When I started the injections, the Doc told me I shouldn't run because of the increased size of my ovaries and the possibility of twisting, rupturing and generally bad things happening. I've taken that very seriously and ceased all running during the 10 days or so of the injections. Once that 2ww hits though, I pick up the (easy) running again.

I was so excited when hubby told me a month ago he wanted to start running again (he took a running break for a few years). I started him on an easy program which was perfect for me — I was able to run with him without exerting myself too much. I'm back on the injections now, so I haven't been able to run with him. But this afternoon when he went out for his run, I went with him and planned to walk. I have to be honest, it's hard for me to just walk when all I want to do is break into a comfortable run. We were in Central Park on a path that circles a reservoir around dusk. It was so beautiful to see the sun setting and the leaves blowing in the Fall breeze that I forgot I even wanted to run. I was content to just walk, enjoy the gorgeous sight and have a zen moment — something that doesn't happen often during this infertility roller coaster.

My walk might not have been the intense, heart-pounding run that I've always been used to but that's OK. It showed me that sometimes just slowing down and enjoying the view is enough (see, that zen moment is still with me five hours after the walk).