I survived my first week of work, with minimal tears!
I've mentioned that I quit my job in December to freelance and give me a more flexible schedule. I was able to work out a situation with another company so that I'm working three days a week (Wed-Fri), but am available Monday and Tuesday for conference calls or some minimal work from home. In addition, I've told my former company I'm still interested in taking on some projects from them. Well, they took me up on that offer and asked me to work onsite last Tuesday. That meant I worked Tues-Fri last week...away from Will. Nothing like getting thrown into the fire right from the start.
Monday night was tough. I was snippy with Hubby and generally in a bad mood. Once I had a good cry about leaving Will I felt a little better. I completely trust the nanny we hired for Will and know this is for the best, but at the time I felt like I was failing my son by leaving him in someone else's care. I'm still torn about being away from him during the day, but he's proven that he'll be OK. In fact, he had a great week with good naps, a couple play dates and a music class.
Things were a little slow at the new job, but I had enough to do to keep me distracted from thinking about Will. I was definitely anxious to get home each night so I could spend a half hour or so with him before bath time. He was all smiles when I walked in the door, which of course melted my heart. My sweet boy missed me!
I know how lucky I am to have been able to work out this flexible schedule, so I'm going to do everything in my power to make it work.
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I missed my anniversary?!?!
Somehow I missed my 1-year blogoversary. Actually, I know how...I've been consumed with a baby!
Happy Belated Blogoversary to me:) It was last Friday, November 11.
Things in Fairytale Land have been happening so fast, but have been good. Will turned 12 weeks old on Sunday! He's over 12lbs now and I can definitely feel it in my arms. He's giving me some guns!
The smiles and baby talking are nonstop now - at least they are for Hubby and I, but Will gets a little shy around new people. He loves to lay on his changing table and smile and "talk" to me about his day. He isn't grabbing any toys yet but he loves to play with his hands and put them into his mouth.
Last night was a new record. He slept from 8:30pm until 7:30am. (We didn't do anything special, Will has done this on his own!) I kept checking on him because I was convinced something was wrong. Hubby and I are preparing for the sleep regression we keep hearing about between 3-4 months. Until it happens though, we're going to try and enjoy these blissful nights!
I officially stopped nursing and pumping on Sunday. We had a great last nursing session, he was very calm and happy. I'm still sad about it, but it was time. I really couldn't take the pumping anymore. Given my horrible nursing start, I'm happy to have gone as long as I did. Monday morning Will kept searching for my boob but after half his bottle he gave up on the boob and focused on the bottle. Today was better, no boob searching, just eating.
We're leaving Thursday for Will's first flight to visit Grandma and Grandpa in Ohio. Unfortunately, Hubby can't fly home with us, he's going to meet us on Friday which means I'm going to be navigating the airport with an (almost) 3-month old on his first flight. The stress of it has given me a headache the last couple of days. I know we'll be fine, but I don't want to be "that mom" with the screaming baby on the plane. Wish us luck!
I'm still in discussions with my company to try and work out a reduced work schedule. And we're in the process of interviewing nannies. And with the upcoming holidays, it's no wonder the time is flying by!
Happy Belated Blogoversary to me:) It was last Friday, November 11.
Things in Fairytale Land have been happening so fast, but have been good. Will turned 12 weeks old on Sunday! He's over 12lbs now and I can definitely feel it in my arms. He's giving me some guns!
The smiles and baby talking are nonstop now - at least they are for Hubby and I, but Will gets a little shy around new people. He loves to lay on his changing table and smile and "talk" to me about his day. He isn't grabbing any toys yet but he loves to play with his hands and put them into his mouth.
Last night was a new record. He slept from 8:30pm until 7:30am. (We didn't do anything special, Will has done this on his own!) I kept checking on him because I was convinced something was wrong. Hubby and I are preparing for the sleep regression we keep hearing about between 3-4 months. Until it happens though, we're going to try and enjoy these blissful nights!
I officially stopped nursing and pumping on Sunday. We had a great last nursing session, he was very calm and happy. I'm still sad about it, but it was time. I really couldn't take the pumping anymore. Given my horrible nursing start, I'm happy to have gone as long as I did. Monday morning Will kept searching for my boob but after half his bottle he gave up on the boob and focused on the bottle. Today was better, no boob searching, just eating.
We're leaving Thursday for Will's first flight to visit Grandma and Grandpa in Ohio. Unfortunately, Hubby can't fly home with us, he's going to meet us on Friday which means I'm going to be navigating the airport with an (almost) 3-month old on his first flight. The stress of it has given me a headache the last couple of days. I know we'll be fine, but I don't want to be "that mom" with the screaming baby on the plane. Wish us luck!
I'm still in discussions with my company to try and work out a reduced work schedule. And we're in the process of interviewing nannies. And with the upcoming holidays, it's no wonder the time is flying by!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Two months: The good and the bad
I really, really need to get more consistent with blogging...sorry for yet another bulleted list post.
• Will turned two months old on Friday. We went to the doctor on Thursday for his checkup and first round of vaccines. He's right on target, weighing 11lbs. 1oz and 23.5" long. He did pretty well with the vaccines but was very tired and fussy the rest of the day and all day Friday. Poor little guy.
• I'm getting consistent smiles and coos from him which is awesome. They are the most abundant in the morning or right after he has really stinky farts (and let me tell you, this boy can fart!).
• He's starting to intentionally put his hands in his mouth. It's hilarious because when he gets them in there he sucks with such passion I'm surprised he hasn't hurt himself. It's so loud Hubby heard it two rooms away the other day! And he likes to double fist. I guess he takes after his Daddy during his college years.
• The sleeping is still a work in progress, but we seem to be down to one night time feeding around 3-4am. At his age, I'm not complaining! I know how lucky we are that he's a good sleeper. I keep waiting for something to happen that will blow up this good thing we have going on. I know I should just relax and enjoy the fact that my 9-week old baby can sleep for 12 hours and only wake once, but I can't. I want to enjoy it, but how do I retrain my brain to not expect the worst?!?!
• I'm still pumping and nursing him once in the morning. I'm becoming very resentful of the damn pump, but loving the morning time with my little man. I don't want to stop nursing him, but for my own sanity I'm going to start weaning him at 10 weeks. It's so bittersweet because we're pros with the nursing but the damn pump is my nemesis. I can't get rid of the guilt either. I've tried to come to terms with my sucky situation of a low supply, but I still feel like I've failed him in some way. Even though I know I haven't.
• I love routine. I like to know when things are going to happen and get a little flustered when my routine gets derailed. I thought having a newborn would fit right into my love of routine, but it doesn't, at least not in the way I was used to having a routine. Yes, there is a routine. Yes, I generally know how things are going to play out, but OH MY GOD is it monotonous. I never knew my life would be subdivided into 3-4 hour segments like this. Why don't people tell you this? Or did they tell me and I didn't pay attention?
• In general I know we've gotten extremely lucky with Will. He's usually a very happy, content and sweet baby. Sure he has his fussy days and days when I can't do anything right by him, but what baby doesn't? All of my issues with motherhood are my own issues. The guilt over the breastfeeding, the resentment towards Will for making my days so boring sometimes, the feelings that I'm doing something wrong that is going to screw him up for life, the general feeling of inadequacy as a mother that I feel. I'm a perfectionist and I think that is playing a huge part in how I feel. I can only control so much when it comes to a baby and that is hard for me to wrap my head around at times. As time passes I'm getting better about cutting myself some slack, but there is always going to be a part of me that wonders "am I REALLY doing the best I can for my son?"
• Despite my crazy feelings, I really do grow more in love with Will everyday. With this face, how could I not?!?!
• Will turned two months old on Friday. We went to the doctor on Thursday for his checkup and first round of vaccines. He's right on target, weighing 11lbs. 1oz and 23.5" long. He did pretty well with the vaccines but was very tired and fussy the rest of the day and all day Friday. Poor little guy.
• I'm getting consistent smiles and coos from him which is awesome. They are the most abundant in the morning or right after he has really stinky farts (and let me tell you, this boy can fart!).
• He's starting to intentionally put his hands in his mouth. It's hilarious because when he gets them in there he sucks with such passion I'm surprised he hasn't hurt himself. It's so loud Hubby heard it two rooms away the other day! And he likes to double fist. I guess he takes after his Daddy during his college years.
• The sleeping is still a work in progress, but we seem to be down to one night time feeding around 3-4am. At his age, I'm not complaining! I know how lucky we are that he's a good sleeper. I keep waiting for something to happen that will blow up this good thing we have going on. I know I should just relax and enjoy the fact that my 9-week old baby can sleep for 12 hours and only wake once, but I can't. I want to enjoy it, but how do I retrain my brain to not expect the worst?!?!
• I'm still pumping and nursing him once in the morning. I'm becoming very resentful of the damn pump, but loving the morning time with my little man. I don't want to stop nursing him, but for my own sanity I'm going to start weaning him at 10 weeks. It's so bittersweet because we're pros with the nursing but the damn pump is my nemesis. I can't get rid of the guilt either. I've tried to come to terms with my sucky situation of a low supply, but I still feel like I've failed him in some way. Even though I know I haven't.
• I love routine. I like to know when things are going to happen and get a little flustered when my routine gets derailed. I thought having a newborn would fit right into my love of routine, but it doesn't, at least not in the way I was used to having a routine. Yes, there is a routine. Yes, I generally know how things are going to play out, but OH MY GOD is it monotonous. I never knew my life would be subdivided into 3-4 hour segments like this. Why don't people tell you this? Or did they tell me and I didn't pay attention?
• In general I know we've gotten extremely lucky with Will. He's usually a very happy, content and sweet baby. Sure he has his fussy days and days when I can't do anything right by him, but what baby doesn't? All of my issues with motherhood are my own issues. The guilt over the breastfeeding, the resentment towards Will for making my days so boring sometimes, the feelings that I'm doing something wrong that is going to screw him up for life, the general feeling of inadequacy as a mother that I feel. I'm a perfectionist and I think that is playing a huge part in how I feel. I can only control so much when it comes to a baby and that is hard for me to wrap my head around at times. As time passes I'm getting better about cutting myself some slack, but there is always going to be a part of me that wonders "am I REALLY doing the best I can for my son?"
• Despite my crazy feelings, I really do grow more in love with Will everyday. With this face, how could I not?!?!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
7 weeks...where has the time gone?
Despite my lack of posting I'm still here, but can't believe Will is 7 weeks old today. I have no clue where the time has gone. I seem to be busy all the time but really can't pinpoint what I've done other than feed, change and cuddle my little guy.
He's growing and changing like crazy. By my estimation (and crappy digital home scale), he weighs a little over 10lbs now. He's outgrown most of his newborn clothes and almost fits into the 3 month clothes. He's definitely longer than he is wide, but he has the cutest pudgy thighs.
We're working on getting him down to one feeding at night. He typically sleeps from 8:30pm-8am with two feeds. Hubby does one feed and I do the other. If we can get him down to one feed I think it will mean more sleep for all of us. We're getting close...
The past couple of days he's given me some real smiles. Not gas smiles or fake smiles, but real gummy, toothless smiles. I get them the most in the morning after I nurse him. Sometimes he'll hiccup and think its funny so he'll let out a little squeal and smile so big I can't help but smile right back at him. It melts my heart every time.
The breastfeeding is the same story, different day. I nurse him in the morning and pump during the day. He's still getting 10-12oz of breast milk a day and the rest formula. I'm probably going to start weaning in early November. Honestly, I never I thought I would make it that long given my low supply so I'm ecstatic he'll be getting breast milk for over 2 months. But the guilt? Yeah, it's still there. Now it's guilt over wanting to stop when we seem to be in a routine that works. It's the pumping that is purely exhausting to me. I need to figure out a way to be 100% ok with weaning before I do it. I don't want any regrets.
This motherhood thing is still really hard. It's very monotonous and often really lonely and isolating, despite my best efforts to get out of the apartment every day and meet some other new moms. I know it will get better, but these early weeks are much more of a challenge than I expected. Maybe I need to try and blog a little more consistently...at least this gives me a place to vent without sounding like a horrible mother!
To end on a bright note, here is a recent picture of Will making his fish-face at me.
He's growing and changing like crazy. By my estimation (and crappy digital home scale), he weighs a little over 10lbs now. He's outgrown most of his newborn clothes and almost fits into the 3 month clothes. He's definitely longer than he is wide, but he has the cutest pudgy thighs.
We're working on getting him down to one feeding at night. He typically sleeps from 8:30pm-8am with two feeds. Hubby does one feed and I do the other. If we can get him down to one feed I think it will mean more sleep for all of us. We're getting close...
The past couple of days he's given me some real smiles. Not gas smiles or fake smiles, but real gummy, toothless smiles. I get them the most in the morning after I nurse him. Sometimes he'll hiccup and think its funny so he'll let out a little squeal and smile so big I can't help but smile right back at him. It melts my heart every time.
The breastfeeding is the same story, different day. I nurse him in the morning and pump during the day. He's still getting 10-12oz of breast milk a day and the rest formula. I'm probably going to start weaning in early November. Honestly, I never I thought I would make it that long given my low supply so I'm ecstatic he'll be getting breast milk for over 2 months. But the guilt? Yeah, it's still there. Now it's guilt over wanting to stop when we seem to be in a routine that works. It's the pumping that is purely exhausting to me. I need to figure out a way to be 100% ok with weaning before I do it. I don't want any regrets.
This motherhood thing is still really hard. It's very monotonous and often really lonely and isolating, despite my best efforts to get out of the apartment every day and meet some other new moms. I know it will get better, but these early weeks are much more of a challenge than I expected. Maybe I need to try and blog a little more consistently...at least this gives me a place to vent without sounding like a horrible mother!
To end on a bright note, here is a recent picture of Will making his fish-face at me.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
One month old
Mr. William was one month old yesterday! My little man is getting so big! We had his one-month doctor appointment this morning and he's up to 9lbs and is 21.5" long (he's definitely longer than he is wide). He got one shot but handled it like a champ. The doctor said everything looked great, the only thing he said is we could increase Will's feeding amounts if he would take more. Other than that, we're right on target (whew, I still get nervous after the jaundice issue).
We went through a period last week where he didn't want to sleep during the day, but was still sleeping at night. It had me completely stressed out by the end of the day to the point that he and I were both in tears. Thankfully, Hubby and I were able to get him back to his routine over the weekend and we're doing much better this week (although the general exhaustion is overwhelming!). Will still has a couple periods during the day where he doesn't sleep, but he's content just hanging out, being read to, going for a walk, etc.
Monday was our first "new mom's group" which was great. It's run by the same woman I went to for an "expectant mom's group" while I was pregnant. It was comforting to hear some of the things other moms are going through and realizing that all the crazy things I'm feeling, the irrational fears, the self-doubt, all of it is normal. I've been scared to put Will in the Baby Bj.orn because I thought he was too little, but there was another mom there who had her son in it and he's the same age as Will. It gave me a boost of confidence to at least open the package. Granted, I haven't tried it yet, but I'm getting closer than I was a week ago...baby steps.
I'm still have milk supply issues, but we've seemed to settle into a pattern that is working for us. It's still exhausting and time consuming, but I feel less guilty now than I did a couple weeks ago. I nurse Will when he first wakes up in the morning, then I nurse him a second time in the morning. After that I wait a couple of hours and pump. The next feeding is expressed milk in a bottle, I pump again and give him another bottle of expressed milk (if I have enough, some days I don't). By this point we're getting ready for his bedtime feedings which always switch over to formula. I pump once more before I go to bed and we use formula for the remainder of his nighttime feedings. So he's getting about 50/50 right now. As we increase his feeding amounts, he'll be getting more formula but that's OK. I'm giving him as much breast milk as I can. I'll be OK with that if I can continue this routine until 6 weeks. We'll see...
Other than the daytime sleeping issues we had, my little man is such a joy. He is so curious and loves to look around and take everything in. He gets a baby massage every night after his bath and he LOVES it, especially having his little legs and back massaged. I can't stop kissing and "eating" his chubby little cheeks and his double chins. I'm starting to getting little half smiles from him in the mornings and hearing sounds that aren't cries or farts...they're really baby gurgles/giggles:)
Slowly, very slowly, and with the help of Hubby, I'm starting to get the hang of this thing and feel more comfortable and more confident in myself as a mommy.
We went through a period last week where he didn't want to sleep during the day, but was still sleeping at night. It had me completely stressed out by the end of the day to the point that he and I were both in tears. Thankfully, Hubby and I were able to get him back to his routine over the weekend and we're doing much better this week (although the general exhaustion is overwhelming!). Will still has a couple periods during the day where he doesn't sleep, but he's content just hanging out, being read to, going for a walk, etc.
Monday was our first "new mom's group" which was great. It's run by the same woman I went to for an "expectant mom's group" while I was pregnant. It was comforting to hear some of the things other moms are going through and realizing that all the crazy things I'm feeling, the irrational fears, the self-doubt, all of it is normal. I've been scared to put Will in the Baby Bj.orn because I thought he was too little, but there was another mom there who had her son in it and he's the same age as Will. It gave me a boost of confidence to at least open the package. Granted, I haven't tried it yet, but I'm getting closer than I was a week ago...baby steps.
I'm still have milk supply issues, but we've seemed to settle into a pattern that is working for us. It's still exhausting and time consuming, but I feel less guilty now than I did a couple weeks ago. I nurse Will when he first wakes up in the morning, then I nurse him a second time in the morning. After that I wait a couple of hours and pump. The next feeding is expressed milk in a bottle, I pump again and give him another bottle of expressed milk (if I have enough, some days I don't). By this point we're getting ready for his bedtime feedings which always switch over to formula. I pump once more before I go to bed and we use formula for the remainder of his nighttime feedings. So he's getting about 50/50 right now. As we increase his feeding amounts, he'll be getting more formula but that's OK. I'm giving him as much breast milk as I can. I'll be OK with that if I can continue this routine until 6 weeks. We'll see...
Other than the daytime sleeping issues we had, my little man is such a joy. He is so curious and loves to look around and take everything in. He gets a baby massage every night after his bath and he LOVES it, especially having his little legs and back massaged. I can't stop kissing and "eating" his chubby little cheeks and his double chins. I'm starting to getting little half smiles from him in the mornings and hearing sounds that aren't cries or farts...they're really baby gurgles/giggles:)
Slowly, very slowly, and with the help of Hubby, I'm starting to get the hang of this thing and feel more comfortable and more confident in myself as a mommy.
 |
| Will - one month old |
Monday, September 12, 2011
Life as a mommy
Wow, I can't believe I have a 3-week old. Actually, if I look at my erratic blogging and commenting yes I can. I apologize for being a slacker, but I'm still trying to get into my routine. So, for now I'm going with the classic bullet point post...
• Will is doing great. We went for his 2-week checkup last week and he had surpassed his birth weight which was a huge relief given how much he lost because of the early dehydration and jaundice. Dr. L said we were doing great with him and the jaundice episode is completely behind us.
• Well, the jaundice episode might be behind us physically, but mentally it's left me totally gun shy. From day one I haven't been producing enough milk for Will, despite diligent pumping and every other trick in the book. So, we've been supplementing with formula at night and expressed breast milk during the day (I haven't been confident he would get enough from nursing. I'm more comfortable giving it to him in a bottle so I KNOW he's getting enough). It's exhausting to feed him a bottle of breast milk and then have to pump an hour later. Honestly, it leaves no time for anything.
• I mentioned all this to Dr. L and he said to nurse him the first two feeds in the morning when my supply is at it's highest. I've been trying that for a couple days now and it seems to be OK, although I'm still not confident he's getting enough at the second feed. But at least I know he can make up for it later in the day if he needs to through the bottle.
• I don't know how long I can keep up the nursing/pumping/formula scenario. I want him to get as much breast milk as he can (and I do enjoy the few nursing sessions we do have), but I also need to find a time balance. I'm feeling horribly guilty that I'm even thinking about stopping the nursing at 6 weeks. I can't help it. I feel like I'm failing my son, even though the rational side of me knows he really is thriving. Hubby has been incredibly supportive about whatever I want to do, which isn't helping me feel any less guilty...
• I've gotten more comfortable taking Will out of the apartment on my own. Hubby is back at work full time and we no longer have the baby nurse during the day (just a couple nights during the week which will end at the end of this week). It's always an accomplishment if I'm able to shower and brush my teeth before noon, and an even bigger accomplishment if we get out of the apartment. For the most part Will does great, unless it's close to feeding time. Then all hell breaks loose because when this guy is hungry you better feed him PRONTO!
• Will is a pretty gassy baby, but we're starting to distinguish his gassy cries from his other cries so we can act accordingly (rub his back, try to burp him again, use the gas drops if we get desperate, etc.). Other than the gas, he's generally a very happy baby.
• Even though I know it's likely just gas, I think I got the beginnings of a smile from him yesterday morning. It melted my heart and made me forget how tired I was. Who knew one little gassy smile would bring such pleasure?!?!
• As for me, I've lost all the weight except 3 pounds which are going to be the hardest (fortunately, I only gained 25lbs total so I didn't have tooooo much to lose). Everything on my body is soft and mushy. As soon as I'm able I need to get my body back to some sort of normal...it's driving me nuts.
• Despite all the challenges, feelings of guilt, wondering if I'm doing this wrong and screwing my kid up for the rest of his life, he is 100% worth it!!!
• Will is doing great. We went for his 2-week checkup last week and he had surpassed his birth weight which was a huge relief given how much he lost because of the early dehydration and jaundice. Dr. L said we were doing great with him and the jaundice episode is completely behind us.
• Well, the jaundice episode might be behind us physically, but mentally it's left me totally gun shy. From day one I haven't been producing enough milk for Will, despite diligent pumping and every other trick in the book. So, we've been supplementing with formula at night and expressed breast milk during the day (I haven't been confident he would get enough from nursing. I'm more comfortable giving it to him in a bottle so I KNOW he's getting enough). It's exhausting to feed him a bottle of breast milk and then have to pump an hour later. Honestly, it leaves no time for anything.
• I mentioned all this to Dr. L and he said to nurse him the first two feeds in the morning when my supply is at it's highest. I've been trying that for a couple days now and it seems to be OK, although I'm still not confident he's getting enough at the second feed. But at least I know he can make up for it later in the day if he needs to through the bottle.
• I don't know how long I can keep up the nursing/pumping/formula scenario. I want him to get as much breast milk as he can (and I do enjoy the few nursing sessions we do have), but I also need to find a time balance. I'm feeling horribly guilty that I'm even thinking about stopping the nursing at 6 weeks. I can't help it. I feel like I'm failing my son, even though the rational side of me knows he really is thriving. Hubby has been incredibly supportive about whatever I want to do, which isn't helping me feel any less guilty...
• I've gotten more comfortable taking Will out of the apartment on my own. Hubby is back at work full time and we no longer have the baby nurse during the day (just a couple nights during the week which will end at the end of this week). It's always an accomplishment if I'm able to shower and brush my teeth before noon, and an even bigger accomplishment if we get out of the apartment. For the most part Will does great, unless it's close to feeding time. Then all hell breaks loose because when this guy is hungry you better feed him PRONTO!
• Will is a pretty gassy baby, but we're starting to distinguish his gassy cries from his other cries so we can act accordingly (rub his back, try to burp him again, use the gas drops if we get desperate, etc.). Other than the gas, he's generally a very happy baby.
• Even though I know it's likely just gas, I think I got the beginnings of a smile from him yesterday morning. It melted my heart and made me forget how tired I was. Who knew one little gassy smile would bring such pleasure?!?!
• Despite all the challenges, feelings of guilt, wondering if I'm doing this wrong and screwing my kid up for the rest of his life, he is 100% worth it!!!
Monday, September 5, 2011
My fairytale ending...and a new beginning
WARNING: This post is going to have lots of TMI and is going to talk about my birth experience. If you're struggling with IF issues you may want to skip this post (I know I likely would have a year ago!).
After my 37-week doctor's appointment on Friday when Dr. B. told me I was 2cm and he wouldn't be surprised if I delivered in the next week, Hubby and I went into overdrive. We finished the nursery (I'll save that for another post), I ran lots of errands, finally packed my hospital bag and got lots of food to cook during the week and freeze.
I had plans on Sunday to meet another preggo friend for a walk at 4pm and then a haircut and color at 6:15pm (my grays desperately needed to be covered!!). I ran a few final errands Sunday morning and was back home around 12:15pm. I sat down on the couch to rest for a few minutes and noticed a little dampness in my underwear. I went to the bathroom and everything seemed normal but things were a little more wet than they were 5 minutes prior (and I had just used the bathroom so I knew it wasn't pee). There was no color or odor, but it was so minimal I put it out of my mind. About 10 minutes later I had the same damp feeling again. Another bathroom check and there was a little more wetness on my underwear.
Hubby was getting ready to go into the office for a couple of hours, so I walked into the other bathroom and told him I thought my water might be starting to break. What was his reaction...a totally blank stare! I think we were both in a little bit of a shock. We decided I would wait another half hour and see if there was more wetness and then call the doctor.
He went to the office and I tried to relax. 15 minutes later and more wetness. At this point, I put on a light pad and called the doctor and left a message for him to call me back. Dr. S. was on call Sunday, so he called back about a half hour later and told me the only way to know for sure was for me to come into the hospital. I called Hubby and we agreed he would come home in an hour and we'd go to the hospital. During that time I had a few small gushes, although I use that term lightly. They were like mini-gushes; I could feel fluid leaking out but never really felt a gush.
We got to the hospital around 4:30pm, and I was in the triage area, in a gown and hooked up to the monitors by 5:00pm. Dr. S. came over and did a quick check of the fluid. Ironically, as soon as he had me open my legs I had a gush...yep, my water broke and I was in labor! He didn't do an internal to see how far along I was because once the water breaks it makes the risk of infection go up dramatically.
This whole time I'd been having contractions, but they weren't consistent and weren't very strong. They were gradually getting stronger, but nothing more painful than period cramps. Dr. S. had my birth plan with him, which he was OK with except for the fact that now that my water had broken we were working against the clock because of an infection risk. He suggested giving me a low dose of Pitocin to get the contractions to become more regular and stronger. I agreed, but still asked to not have an epidural.
I kind of lost track of time at this point, but probably around 7:00ish the nurse and Dr. S. came in to see how I was doing. I was being given the lowest dose of Pitocin but it was definitely working. The contractions were pretty regular and definitely stronger. I was having to concentrate on my breathing to get through them. We talked about an epidural but I still didn't want one. I did agree to have the consultation with the anesthesiologist just in case. We talked, I understood everything and he went on his way. I worked through another half hour or so of the contractions and decided I'd already had an IV and Pitocin so I was going to get the epidural. Lesson learned...birth plans are just that, a plan. Nothing is set in stone!
The anesthesiologist came back within 5 minutes, got me set up and did his thing. It didn't really hurt other than the shot to numb the area, and it was over within 10 minutes. Dr. S. told me I should feel the full effects within 10-20-minutes. After 20 minutes, my left side was feeling 100x better, but I could still feel almost the full effect of the contractions on my right side. I called the nurse back in and she got the anesthesiologist to correct things so I'd have equal relief. Another 15 minutes later and I finally had relief on both sides. I was still aware of the peak of the contractions because of a feeling of pressure, but it wasn't the intense, white-knuckle pain I was feeling before.
At this point, Dr. S. wanted to do an internal to see how things were progressing. It was probably 8 or 8:30pm by now. He did his thing and told me I was 7cm dilated. We were all shocked how far along I was! Apparently my body had kicked it into high gear and took over the contractions. They turned off the Pitocin and let my body (and the Woowoo) continue doing its thing.
45 minutes later Dr. S. came back to do another check and announced we had reached 9cm and I would be having a baby very soon. To be honest, I was still in shock I was labor so to hear that I would have my baby so soon was totally surreal. Thankfully Hubby was there with me to calm me down. We started placing bets as to what time he would come out. It turned into a texting game of Price Is Right with his family about the time. I predicted the earliest time at 12:17am, I figured I'd be pushing for a while.
Dr. S. and the nurse left for a bit but told us to let them know right away if I felt the urge to push, or rather the urge to poop. I started to feel some small urges with contractions but nothing like "Oh my God, I have to take a giant crap RIGHT NOW!".
Around 9:45pm, they came back in and after another internal I was at 10cm. It was go time! The nurse got the room ready, Dr. S. got his speakers and his pushing playlist ready and the baby nurse came in (yes, my doctor brought in portable speakers, hooked up his iPod and had a pushing playlist...it was awesome!!)
They had me slid down almost on my back, but with Hubby behind my head supporting my back. I grabbed behind my thighs and they had me push twice. These weren't the "real" pushes, but rather to see where the baby's head was. After the two pushes, Dr. S. announced I was having this baby NOW. And then my contractions stalled. Fabulous. It took about 2 minutes before I had another contraction and felt the urge to push. I took a big deep breath, Hubby supported my back and I leaned over my belly while pushing as hard as I could. The rumors are true, you really do push like you're trying to take a giant poop! The baby crowned with that push to the point that Hubby could see hair (even though he was at the "north end" as Dr. S. put it). Another contraction came, and another deep breath and push...out came the baby's head. The next push ended up being a half push, Dr. S. told me half way through it to not push so hard and the baby's shoulders and baby slid right out.
I couldn't believe it...basically three pushes and I was looking at my son! (Sidebar: the postpartum hormones are no joke, I just started crying as I typed that sentence...I have a son!!). Apparently the little man had to go to the bathroom because he had his first bowel movement immediately and all over me. I had no clue and didn't even care. I guess it was pretty huge because it was everywhere, so the nurse gave him a quick 15 second wipe down and then handed him to me. He wasn't really crying, just kind of whimpering, but calmed down and started to lose the blue color once he was on my chest. The feeling was beyond words. I started crying, Hubby couldn't stop smiling and the Woowoo just nuzzled into me.
I got to hold my little boy for about 20 minutes while I delivered the placenta 8 minutes later and Dr. S. sewed me up. I had two minor (first degree) tears that required a few stitches. I think they probably happened when he told me to stop pushing so hard. Oops...
The baby nurse came over and took Will to the warmer to get cleaned up, put a diaper on (we weren't sure if he was done pooping yet or not), and get a quick check. She had him back in my arms in 10 minutes where he immediately found my boob and started going to town. That was another totally indescribable feeling. It calmed me down and he seemed so content. Meanwhile, Hubby is snapping pictures and taking videos, all the while staring at Will with the cutest, silliest grin on his face.
Within in an hour or so I was transferred up to my room and Hubby and I settled in for the night. I never went to sleep, I stayed up the whole time holding Will and just staring at him. I couldn't believe such an amazing little being came out of me. It was (and still is) such a totally surreal experience...and one I am incredibly thankful to have been blessed to experience.
I finally got my fairytale ending! Now it's time for a new beginning of a whole different kind (and maybe I need to rethink my blog name?!?!).
After my 37-week doctor's appointment on Friday when Dr. B. told me I was 2cm and he wouldn't be surprised if I delivered in the next week, Hubby and I went into overdrive. We finished the nursery (I'll save that for another post), I ran lots of errands, finally packed my hospital bag and got lots of food to cook during the week and freeze.
I had plans on Sunday to meet another preggo friend for a walk at 4pm and then a haircut and color at 6:15pm (my grays desperately needed to be covered!!). I ran a few final errands Sunday morning and was back home around 12:15pm. I sat down on the couch to rest for a few minutes and noticed a little dampness in my underwear. I went to the bathroom and everything seemed normal but things were a little more wet than they were 5 minutes prior (and I had just used the bathroom so I knew it wasn't pee). There was no color or odor, but it was so minimal I put it out of my mind. About 10 minutes later I had the same damp feeling again. Another bathroom check and there was a little more wetness on my underwear.
Hubby was getting ready to go into the office for a couple of hours, so I walked into the other bathroom and told him I thought my water might be starting to break. What was his reaction...a totally blank stare! I think we were both in a little bit of a shock. We decided I would wait another half hour and see if there was more wetness and then call the doctor.
He went to the office and I tried to relax. 15 minutes later and more wetness. At this point, I put on a light pad and called the doctor and left a message for him to call me back. Dr. S. was on call Sunday, so he called back about a half hour later and told me the only way to know for sure was for me to come into the hospital. I called Hubby and we agreed he would come home in an hour and we'd go to the hospital. During that time I had a few small gushes, although I use that term lightly. They were like mini-gushes; I could feel fluid leaking out but never really felt a gush.
We got to the hospital around 4:30pm, and I was in the triage area, in a gown and hooked up to the monitors by 5:00pm. Dr. S. came over and did a quick check of the fluid. Ironically, as soon as he had me open my legs I had a gush...yep, my water broke and I was in labor! He didn't do an internal to see how far along I was because once the water breaks it makes the risk of infection go up dramatically.
This whole time I'd been having contractions, but they weren't consistent and weren't very strong. They were gradually getting stronger, but nothing more painful than period cramps. Dr. S. had my birth plan with him, which he was OK with except for the fact that now that my water had broken we were working against the clock because of an infection risk. He suggested giving me a low dose of Pitocin to get the contractions to become more regular and stronger. I agreed, but still asked to not have an epidural.
I kind of lost track of time at this point, but probably around 7:00ish the nurse and Dr. S. came in to see how I was doing. I was being given the lowest dose of Pitocin but it was definitely working. The contractions were pretty regular and definitely stronger. I was having to concentrate on my breathing to get through them. We talked about an epidural but I still didn't want one. I did agree to have the consultation with the anesthesiologist just in case. We talked, I understood everything and he went on his way. I worked through another half hour or so of the contractions and decided I'd already had an IV and Pitocin so I was going to get the epidural. Lesson learned...birth plans are just that, a plan. Nothing is set in stone!
The anesthesiologist came back within 5 minutes, got me set up and did his thing. It didn't really hurt other than the shot to numb the area, and it was over within 10 minutes. Dr. S. told me I should feel the full effects within 10-20-minutes. After 20 minutes, my left side was feeling 100x better, but I could still feel almost the full effect of the contractions on my right side. I called the nurse back in and she got the anesthesiologist to correct things so I'd have equal relief. Another 15 minutes later and I finally had relief on both sides. I was still aware of the peak of the contractions because of a feeling of pressure, but it wasn't the intense, white-knuckle pain I was feeling before.
At this point, Dr. S. wanted to do an internal to see how things were progressing. It was probably 8 or 8:30pm by now. He did his thing and told me I was 7cm dilated. We were all shocked how far along I was! Apparently my body had kicked it into high gear and took over the contractions. They turned off the Pitocin and let my body (and the Woowoo) continue doing its thing.
45 minutes later Dr. S. came back to do another check and announced we had reached 9cm and I would be having a baby very soon. To be honest, I was still in shock I was labor so to hear that I would have my baby so soon was totally surreal. Thankfully Hubby was there with me to calm me down. We started placing bets as to what time he would come out. It turned into a texting game of Price Is Right with his family about the time. I predicted the earliest time at 12:17am, I figured I'd be pushing for a while.
Dr. S. and the nurse left for a bit but told us to let them know right away if I felt the urge to push, or rather the urge to poop. I started to feel some small urges with contractions but nothing like "Oh my God, I have to take a giant crap RIGHT NOW!".
Around 9:45pm, they came back in and after another internal I was at 10cm. It was go time! The nurse got the room ready, Dr. S. got his speakers and his pushing playlist ready and the baby nurse came in (yes, my doctor brought in portable speakers, hooked up his iPod and had a pushing playlist...it was awesome!!)
They had me slid down almost on my back, but with Hubby behind my head supporting my back. I grabbed behind my thighs and they had me push twice. These weren't the "real" pushes, but rather to see where the baby's head was. After the two pushes, Dr. S. announced I was having this baby NOW. And then my contractions stalled. Fabulous. It took about 2 minutes before I had another contraction and felt the urge to push. I took a big deep breath, Hubby supported my back and I leaned over my belly while pushing as hard as I could. The rumors are true, you really do push like you're trying to take a giant poop! The baby crowned with that push to the point that Hubby could see hair (even though he was at the "north end" as Dr. S. put it). Another contraction came, and another deep breath and push...out came the baby's head. The next push ended up being a half push, Dr. S. told me half way through it to not push so hard and the baby's shoulders and baby slid right out.
I couldn't believe it...basically three pushes and I was looking at my son! (Sidebar: the postpartum hormones are no joke, I just started crying as I typed that sentence...I have a son!!). Apparently the little man had to go to the bathroom because he had his first bowel movement immediately and all over me. I had no clue and didn't even care. I guess it was pretty huge because it was everywhere, so the nurse gave him a quick 15 second wipe down and then handed him to me. He wasn't really crying, just kind of whimpering, but calmed down and started to lose the blue color once he was on my chest. The feeling was beyond words. I started crying, Hubby couldn't stop smiling and the Woowoo just nuzzled into me.
I got to hold my little boy for about 20 minutes while I delivered the placenta 8 minutes later and Dr. S. sewed me up. I had two minor (first degree) tears that required a few stitches. I think they probably happened when he told me to stop pushing so hard. Oops...
The baby nurse came over and took Will to the warmer to get cleaned up, put a diaper on (we weren't sure if he was done pooping yet or not), and get a quick check. She had him back in my arms in 10 minutes where he immediately found my boob and started going to town. That was another totally indescribable feeling. It calmed me down and he seemed so content. Meanwhile, Hubby is snapping pictures and taking videos, all the while staring at Will with the cutest, silliest grin on his face.
Within in an hour or so I was transferred up to my room and Hubby and I settled in for the night. I never went to sleep, I stayed up the whole time holding Will and just staring at him. I couldn't believe such an amazing little being came out of me. It was (and still is) such a totally surreal experience...and one I am incredibly thankful to have been blessed to experience.
I finally got my fairytale ending! Now it's time for a new beginning of a whole different kind (and maybe I need to rethink my blog name?!?!).
Saturday, August 27, 2011
A quick update
This will be quick because we have a lot going on right now, but I need to write some things down - if nothing else than to try and maintain my emotional sanity.
Will (screw the anonymity, my sweet baby boy's name is Will!), went for his newborn doc appt on Thursday afternoon. Everything looked good except for the slight jaundice hue he had. The doc (Dr. L. - thanks Sienna...LOVE him!) did a bilirubin test and called us about 10pm to tell us his numbers were too high and we needed to take Will to the ER immediately for evaluation and treatment.
That wasn't a totally nerve wracking call or anything! Thankfully Hubby answered the phone and was able to talk to the doc, I would have been in tears.
So, we packed up Will and took our first NYC cab ride to Corn.ell ER. After lots of tests and waiting he was admitted to the NICU around 2:30am. I couldn't stop crying the entire time we were in the ER. How the hell was I supposed to leave my 4 day old baby?!?! I'm crying as I type this. These postpartum hormones are NO JOKE!
Walking out of the hospital at 3am with my son was the hardest thing I've had to do. Even harder than losing my mom...but thankfully I knew my mom and dad (who Will is named after) were going to watch over him and take care of him.
Anyway, my short post is getting long here...
I spent all day with him yesterday, feeding him (he's breastfeeding but my milk production is really low so we're supplementing with lots of formula to get him rehydrated and gaining weight), cuddling him, changing his numerous poopy diapers and watching him pee on his own head (oops, gotta remember to keep that little weewee covered during the diaper changes). The morning test results were good and they thought he would be released last night...no such luck. The afternoon test results were the same as the morning results, as opposed to being better as they should have been.
So, yet again Hubby and I walked out of the ER without our baby boy. I was able to get a little sleep last night, but I'm up every 3 hours pumping in the hopes that will help increase my milk production, so it wasn't a consistent sleep.
We decided to hold off on the baby nurse even before Will was sent to the hospital because we wanted to try and figure a few things out on our own. As of now, she's schedule to be here Monday morning. But who knows if that will happen because of Hurricane Irene.
Speaking of that bitch, Hubby went out yesterday to stock up on supplies, not so much for the hurricane itself, but in preparation of losing electricity for a long time. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but leaving the city isn't an option right now and we've done what we can to prepare. Now we just sit and hope she changes her course enough not to take a direct hit on NYC.
My emotions have run the gamut this week from elation, joy, over-the-moon-love to lots of anxiety, fear, overwhelming urges to cry and everything in between. I know it's all normal, but having gone through an unexpected early labor, an earthquake while in the hospital (yes, I felt it), hospitalizing my 4 day old son and now potentially living through a hurricane - all within the last 6 days - is a little trying on the system.
So, I'm waiting for shift change at the hospital to call and see what Will's numbers were in the middle of the night. They'll do a repeat test at 9am this morning to compare and see if they've dropped. If so, we'll hopefully take him home today. If not...I don't know...which is what scares me to the most.
Will (screw the anonymity, my sweet baby boy's name is Will!), went for his newborn doc appt on Thursday afternoon. Everything looked good except for the slight jaundice hue he had. The doc (Dr. L. - thanks Sienna...LOVE him!) did a bilirubin test and called us about 10pm to tell us his numbers were too high and we needed to take Will to the ER immediately for evaluation and treatment.
That wasn't a totally nerve wracking call or anything! Thankfully Hubby answered the phone and was able to talk to the doc, I would have been in tears.
So, we packed up Will and took our first NYC cab ride to Corn.ell ER. After lots of tests and waiting he was admitted to the NICU around 2:30am. I couldn't stop crying the entire time we were in the ER. How the hell was I supposed to leave my 4 day old baby?!?! I'm crying as I type this. These postpartum hormones are NO JOKE!
Walking out of the hospital at 3am with my son was the hardest thing I've had to do. Even harder than losing my mom...but thankfully I knew my mom and dad (who Will is named after) were going to watch over him and take care of him.
Anyway, my short post is getting long here...
I spent all day with him yesterday, feeding him (he's breastfeeding but my milk production is really low so we're supplementing with lots of formula to get him rehydrated and gaining weight), cuddling him, changing his numerous poopy diapers and watching him pee on his own head (oops, gotta remember to keep that little weewee covered during the diaper changes). The morning test results were good and they thought he would be released last night...no such luck. The afternoon test results were the same as the morning results, as opposed to being better as they should have been.
So, yet again Hubby and I walked out of the ER without our baby boy. I was able to get a little sleep last night, but I'm up every 3 hours pumping in the hopes that will help increase my milk production, so it wasn't a consistent sleep.
We decided to hold off on the baby nurse even before Will was sent to the hospital because we wanted to try and figure a few things out on our own. As of now, she's schedule to be here Monday morning. But who knows if that will happen because of Hurricane Irene.
Speaking of that bitch, Hubby went out yesterday to stock up on supplies, not so much for the hurricane itself, but in preparation of losing electricity for a long time. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but leaving the city isn't an option right now and we've done what we can to prepare. Now we just sit and hope she changes her course enough not to take a direct hit on NYC.
My emotions have run the gamut this week from elation, joy, over-the-moon-love to lots of anxiety, fear, overwhelming urges to cry and everything in between. I know it's all normal, but having gone through an unexpected early labor, an earthquake while in the hospital (yes, I felt it), hospitalizing my 4 day old son and now potentially living through a hurricane - all within the last 6 days - is a little trying on the system.
So, I'm waiting for shift change at the hospital to call and see what Will's numbers were in the middle of the night. They'll do a repeat test at 9am this morning to compare and see if they've dropped. If so, we'll hopefully take him home today. If not...I don't know...which is what scares me to the most.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Yep, I had a baby!
The Woowoo (now known as W) was born at 10:01pm Sunday evening. He weighed in at 7lbs. 7oz. and 19-3/4" long!
We're both doing great and I am in heaven. It's been an amazing experience. I will post more when we're home from the hospital.
We're both doing great and I am in heaven. It's been an amazing experience. I will post more when we're home from the hospital.
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| Baby Will, 2 days old |
Friday, August 19, 2011
Um, I think I'm having a baby soon
I just got back from the doctor for my 37 week appointment (technically, I'm 36w6d...but whose counting?!?!).
• Contractions: check
• Head down: check
• Mucus plug gone: check
• Softening cervix: check
• Dilation: check (2cm)
So let me start from my last post a week ago.
Hubby and I were at the beach from last Saturday until Tuesday evening with his mom and sister (also preggo...18 weeks), which was wonderfully relaxing. I'd been having more frequent contractions but nothing to write home about. Wednesday evening Hubby wanted a little action and I was feeling good so we had a little fun. Immediately after I noticed I was spotting. I didn't really think too much of it because it stopped by Thursday morning.
I continued on with my Thursday at work, but had to go to the bathroom a couple of times during the day. This third tri has brought the dreaded preggo constipation so I was a little surprised by this. I was definitely feeling more contractions, but they were still random and sporadic. When I was using the bathroom before going to bed last night I noticed a discharge unlike anything I'd seen before...it was incredibly thick, long and slightly darker color than the typical. Think EWCM but thicker, stringier and not white (sorry, TMI I know).
I woke up twice last night with a nauseous feeling but never actually got sick. Hubby and I got up early this morning and he went for a run while I went for a very slow walk. I had a couple of contractions while on the walk but still random and sporadic.
So, I head to the doctor this morning and tell him all this and he suggests we do an internal to see what's going on. The Woowoo has totally dropped, is in the posterior position (head down), my cervix is softened (he didn't tell me how much I was effaced) and I'm 2cm dilated.
Yes, you read that correctly...I'm 2cm dilated and tomorrow is full term for me. I know things could always stay this way for a while, but the doctor (Doc B for those who know my practice) gave me a 50% chance of delivering before my next appointment which is a week from today. (If it means anything, my mom delivered me 2-1/2 weeks early and I was over 8lbs. Hubby was a week early and close to 9lbs. We breed 'em big and get 'em out early:) )
I was shocked!!! I knew things were happening but didn't think they were happening so rapidly.
So, all the things Hubby and I planned to do this weekend are no longer optional...they will get done. Fortunately, it's lots of little stuff and should be doable.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the overwhelming excitement I'm feeling at meeting my sweet little boy soon...maybe sooner than I had planned:)
• Contractions: check
• Head down: check
• Mucus plug gone: check
• Softening cervix: check
• Dilation: check (2cm)
So let me start from my last post a week ago.
Hubby and I were at the beach from last Saturday until Tuesday evening with his mom and sister (also preggo...18 weeks), which was wonderfully relaxing. I'd been having more frequent contractions but nothing to write home about. Wednesday evening Hubby wanted a little action and I was feeling good so we had a little fun. Immediately after I noticed I was spotting. I didn't really think too much of it because it stopped by Thursday morning.
I continued on with my Thursday at work, but had to go to the bathroom a couple of times during the day. This third tri has brought the dreaded preggo constipation so I was a little surprised by this. I was definitely feeling more contractions, but they were still random and sporadic. When I was using the bathroom before going to bed last night I noticed a discharge unlike anything I'd seen before...it was incredibly thick, long and slightly darker color than the typical. Think EWCM but thicker, stringier and not white (sorry, TMI I know).
I woke up twice last night with a nauseous feeling but never actually got sick. Hubby and I got up early this morning and he went for a run while I went for a very slow walk. I had a couple of contractions while on the walk but still random and sporadic.
So, I head to the doctor this morning and tell him all this and he suggests we do an internal to see what's going on. The Woowoo has totally dropped, is in the posterior position (head down), my cervix is softened (he didn't tell me how much I was effaced) and I'm 2cm dilated.
Yes, you read that correctly...I'm 2cm dilated and tomorrow is full term for me. I know things could always stay this way for a while, but the doctor (Doc B for those who know my practice) gave me a 50% chance of delivering before my next appointment which is a week from today. (If it means anything, my mom delivered me 2-1/2 weeks early and I was over 8lbs. Hubby was a week early and close to 9lbs. We breed 'em big and get 'em out early:) )
I was shocked!!! I knew things were happening but didn't think they were happening so rapidly.
So, all the things Hubby and I planned to do this weekend are no longer optional...they will get done. Fortunately, it's lots of little stuff and should be doable.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the overwhelming excitement I'm feeling at meeting my sweet little boy soon...maybe sooner than I had planned:)
Monday, August 1, 2011
34 week randomness
I've made it past 34 weeks (34w2d today). This feels like such a huge milestone for me, I can't imagine my next milestone - 36 weeks! I had a doctor's appointment last Tuesday and things still seem to be progressing like normal. I had a lot of pelvic pain/pressure and hip pain on Wednesday but I think it was just lots of growing and stretching because it seemed back to normal on Thursday. I didn't think things could stretch anymore, but apparently they can!
I have lots of random things to say so the rest of the post will be bullet points (my favorites!).
• Hubby and I finally figured out a solution for shelves in the nursery/office/guest room. I was able to find a shelf/bookcase thingy at Ik.ea (for $40...score!) that fit exactly in the 12" we have between the crib and the closet door. It couldn't have been more perfect. We trekked out there yesterday and picked it up - along with 25 other things that weren't on the list but we absolutely had to have - and Hubby assembled it last night. It looks great and now I can put all the Woowoo's cute little books and knick knacks on display. We have a few more things to finish in the room and then I'll post some pics.
• Getting dressed in the morning has turned into a circus act, specifically I equate putting on my underwear to the ring toss. My belly is so big it's not comfortable to bend over and put one leg in the underwear and then the other. Sitting on the bed is not ideal because we have a low platform bed that isn't the easiest to stand up from. Going commando (at least on a daily basis) isn't really my style. So I've resorted to holding my panties in my right hand, as close to my foot as I can, and kind of tossing them over my foot without letting go...hoping to get the aim correct. Most days it works, but like any true circus ring toss game, sometimes it takes a few tries. Fortunately Hubby has not witnessed this yet...I fear he would hurt himself from laughing too hard at the sight of his wife trying to put her underwear on:)
• I think I'm keeping The Conta.iner St.ore in business these days. My nesting instinct has taken the form of organizing everything in our apartment. My recent trip included containers to organize our medicine cabinets in the bathroom. Next on the list...the junk drawer!
• I finally met my first IF bloggie friend in person. Last week I had the pleasure of having a very enjoyable lunch with Park Slope Purgatory. She and I both go to the same doctor (thanks to the recommendation of Sienna) and have shared similar IF experiences. It worked out that she was going to be in my neighborhood on a day I was working from home. It was so nice to relax and have a leisurely brunch with her, some of which was focused on babies, but some was just typical girl/lunch chat. I look forward to the next time we get to hang out!
• Next weekend is the annual Naut.ica New York City Tria.thlon. I was signed up to participate in the race this year, but had to defer to next year for obvious reasons. While I can't think of a better reason not to participate in this years race, it's also bittersweet for me. I don't talk about it much here, but I am a triathlete and have participated in over 20 triathlons in the past 7 years. It's a part of my life and makes me who I am. I desperately miss training for a race and feeling the adrenaline rush of what I've just accomplished as I cross the finish line. I've come to terms with not doing the race year because I'll be participating in my own type of race and feeling a totally different type of adrenaline rush in a few short weeks when I meet my Woowoo. Until then, I'll be in Central Park next weekend cheering on all the triathletes who will be swimming, biking and running their way to their own finish line!
I have lots of random things to say so the rest of the post will be bullet points (my favorites!).
• Hubby and I finally figured out a solution for shelves in the nursery/office/guest room. I was able to find a shelf/bookcase thingy at Ik.ea (for $40...score!) that fit exactly in the 12" we have between the crib and the closet door. It couldn't have been more perfect. We trekked out there yesterday and picked it up - along with 25 other things that weren't on the list but we absolutely had to have - and Hubby assembled it last night. It looks great and now I can put all the Woowoo's cute little books and knick knacks on display. We have a few more things to finish in the room and then I'll post some pics.
• Getting dressed in the morning has turned into a circus act, specifically I equate putting on my underwear to the ring toss. My belly is so big it's not comfortable to bend over and put one leg in the underwear and then the other. Sitting on the bed is not ideal because we have a low platform bed that isn't the easiest to stand up from. Going commando (at least on a daily basis) isn't really my style. So I've resorted to holding my panties in my right hand, as close to my foot as I can, and kind of tossing them over my foot without letting go...hoping to get the aim correct. Most days it works, but like any true circus ring toss game, sometimes it takes a few tries. Fortunately Hubby has not witnessed this yet...I fear he would hurt himself from laughing too hard at the sight of his wife trying to put her underwear on:)
• I think I'm keeping The Conta.iner St.ore in business these days. My nesting instinct has taken the form of organizing everything in our apartment. My recent trip included containers to organize our medicine cabinets in the bathroom. Next on the list...the junk drawer!
• I finally met my first IF bloggie friend in person. Last week I had the pleasure of having a very enjoyable lunch with Park Slope Purgatory. She and I both go to the same doctor (thanks to the recommendation of Sienna) and have shared similar IF experiences. It worked out that she was going to be in my neighborhood on a day I was working from home. It was so nice to relax and have a leisurely brunch with her, some of which was focused on babies, but some was just typical girl/lunch chat. I look forward to the next time we get to hang out!
• Next weekend is the annual Naut.ica New York City Tria.thlon. I was signed up to participate in the race this year, but had to defer to next year for obvious reasons. While I can't think of a better reason not to participate in this years race, it's also bittersweet for me. I don't talk about it much here, but I am a triathlete and have participated in over 20 triathlons in the past 7 years. It's a part of my life and makes me who I am. I desperately miss training for a race and feeling the adrenaline rush of what I've just accomplished as I cross the finish line. I've come to terms with not doing the race year because I'll be participating in my own type of race and feeling a totally different type of adrenaline rush in a few short weeks when I meet my Woowoo. Until then, I'll be in Central Park next weekend cheering on all the triathletes who will be swimming, biking and running their way to their own finish line!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Heat = An unhappy preggo
I know almost the entire country has been hit by the crazy heat wave the past week, but Oh My God!!! It's been extra miserable in NYC because of all the pavement (we topped out at 104 humid degrees on Friday). I never thought 85 degrees would feel cool until I walked out the door this morning.
I worked from home Friday so I wouldn't have to descend into the bowels of hell (aka, the NYC subway system) to get to the office. I never left the apartment and was perfectly OK with that, until our refrigerator decided it was done with the heat as well. The freezer is working fine, but the fridge has crapped out on us. During a heat wave. In the middle of July. When all an 8-month pregnant woman wants is a cold glass of chocolate milk. The repairman is coming tomorrow afternoon, but until then...ugh!
I had another meltdown on Saturday morning, and I contribute it equally to the heat and the hormones. I was getting ready to leave for yoga and Hubby was reading the newspaper on his computer in bed. I climbed on the edge of the bed to lay with him for a few minutes before I had to leave and the force of my gigantic body/belly caused his laptop to slip off and almost hit the floor.
I lost it and started crying over the fact that I'm constantly hot and I'm huge - to the point that I'm making computers fall off beds! I feel fat, even though most of it is baby, and I'm sticky all the time. I just can't cool down enough. Even if I weren't pregnant, I would feel fat and swollen from the heat. Thankfully Hubby let me cry for a few minutes, hugged me and told me how cute my belly was. He suggested I skip yoga, but that was the one thing I knew would bring me back to reality and calm me down a little - and it did. Well, it calmed me down, it definitely did not cool me down!
I tried to stay inside the rest of the weekend, or at least kept my ventures out to places within the neighborhood. It's frustrating, because I really do love being outside, but right now I care more about being as comfortable as possible than I do about enjoying the outdoors.
Despite all my complaining, I am so grateful to have my little Woowoo flipping around in my belly. And he can stay in there a few more weeks (even in this heat) if it means he'll come out big, strong and healthy (well maybe not TOO big) :)
I worked from home Friday so I wouldn't have to descend into the bowels of hell (aka, the NYC subway system) to get to the office. I never left the apartment and was perfectly OK with that, until our refrigerator decided it was done with the heat as well. The freezer is working fine, but the fridge has crapped out on us. During a heat wave. In the middle of July. When all an 8-month pregnant woman wants is a cold glass of chocolate milk. The repairman is coming tomorrow afternoon, but until then...ugh!
I had another meltdown on Saturday morning, and I contribute it equally to the heat and the hormones. I was getting ready to leave for yoga and Hubby was reading the newspaper on his computer in bed. I climbed on the edge of the bed to lay with him for a few minutes before I had to leave and the force of my gigantic body/belly caused his laptop to slip off and almost hit the floor.
I lost it and started crying over the fact that I'm constantly hot and I'm huge - to the point that I'm making computers fall off beds! I feel fat, even though most of it is baby, and I'm sticky all the time. I just can't cool down enough. Even if I weren't pregnant, I would feel fat and swollen from the heat. Thankfully Hubby let me cry for a few minutes, hugged me and told me how cute my belly was. He suggested I skip yoga, but that was the one thing I knew would bring me back to reality and calm me down a little - and it did. Well, it calmed me down, it definitely did not cool me down!
I tried to stay inside the rest of the weekend, or at least kept my ventures out to places within the neighborhood. It's frustrating, because I really do love being outside, but right now I care more about being as comfortable as possible than I do about enjoying the outdoors.
Despite all my complaining, I am so grateful to have my little Woowoo flipping around in my belly. And he can stay in there a few more weeks (even in this heat) if it means he'll come out big, strong and healthy (well maybe not TOO big) :)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Baby nurse—check!
Up until a year ago I had never heard the term "baby nurse". Or if I had, I just figured it was a woman who worked as a nurse specializing in baby care.
After going through all of my IF treatments and having a few friends have babies in NYC, I became familiar with the more common meaning for a baby nurse—basically someone who comes into your home and stays with you to help take care of your newborn (she probably isn't a certified RN, but might have some certifications and/or formal training).
Even though I knew what a baby nurse was, it's not something I had ever given any thought to. Why would I? All of my friends with kids had done it themselves or with the help of a family member. That's how I was raised and I didn't know any different.
About 3 months into my pregnancy Hubby brought up the topic and told me he thought it would be a good idea to have someone help us at first. I was immediately against it because I felt if I can't take care of this newborn on my own then I'm going to be a failure as a mother (I know, slightly irrational, but I'll blame that on the first trimester hormones).
The more we talked the better the idea sounded, though. I've never cared for a newborn, Hubby barely knows what to do with a 6-month old let alone a slippery, squirmy newborn, and we don't have any family close by to guide us. OK, so I was sold—we would get a baby nurse for the first couple of weeks and then we would be on our own.
I started my research a couple weeks ago, after I finished up the freelance project. I received some recommendations from friends, friends of friends and people in my expectant moms group.
I began the phone calls on Monday morning, and after four phone interviews I found someone I was interested in. On paper (based on the recommendation from her reference) she was everything we were looking for:
• experienced
• recommends putting baby on an eat/sleep schedule from the beginning
• knowledgeable and supportive of breastfeeding
• willing to teach me what she's doing and why she's doing it as opposed to just taking care of the baby
• adaptable to our home and lifestyle
• flexible if we want to extend her stay beyond 2 weeks
• on the lower end of the price range for a NYC baby nurse
• requires a deposit and contract to reserve her time (surprisingly, some of the women weren't interested in this which made me nervous that once the Woowoo comes the baby nurse would have committed to someone else)
Her reference had nothing but great things to say about her so I was sold. I spoke with Y (the baby nurse) yesterday afternoon. She emailed some info and her contract and we agreed to an in-person interview last night. It all happened so quickly my head was spinning and pounding. I literally got a headache from the craziness of how it all went down in the matter of hours.
She came to our apartment at 8pm, but unfortunately Hubby got stuck at a work event and was unable to meet her. Thankfully, I immediately felt comfortable and at ease with her. She was so easy to be around, yet I could tell she was a very strong woman who would help me learn how to care for my new little guy. We chatted for over an hour and half and at the end I signed on the dotted line and gave her a deposit to reserve her for at least two weeks in September.
I'm beyond excited to have found her and relieved to have this taken care of, especially knowing the Woowoo, Hubby and I will be good hands!
After going through all of my IF treatments and having a few friends have babies in NYC, I became familiar with the more common meaning for a baby nurse—basically someone who comes into your home and stays with you to help take care of your newborn (she probably isn't a certified RN, but might have some certifications and/or formal training).
Even though I knew what a baby nurse was, it's not something I had ever given any thought to. Why would I? All of my friends with kids had done it themselves or with the help of a family member. That's how I was raised and I didn't know any different.
About 3 months into my pregnancy Hubby brought up the topic and told me he thought it would be a good idea to have someone help us at first. I was immediately against it because I felt if I can't take care of this newborn on my own then I'm going to be a failure as a mother (I know, slightly irrational, but I'll blame that on the first trimester hormones).
The more we talked the better the idea sounded, though. I've never cared for a newborn, Hubby barely knows what to do with a 6-month old let alone a slippery, squirmy newborn, and we don't have any family close by to guide us. OK, so I was sold—we would get a baby nurse for the first couple of weeks and then we would be on our own.
I started my research a couple weeks ago, after I finished up the freelance project. I received some recommendations from friends, friends of friends and people in my expectant moms group.
I began the phone calls on Monday morning, and after four phone interviews I found someone I was interested in. On paper (based on the recommendation from her reference) she was everything we were looking for:
• experienced
• recommends putting baby on an eat/sleep schedule from the beginning
• knowledgeable and supportive of breastfeeding
• willing to teach me what she's doing and why she's doing it as opposed to just taking care of the baby
• adaptable to our home and lifestyle
• flexible if we want to extend her stay beyond 2 weeks
• on the lower end of the price range for a NYC baby nurse
• requires a deposit and contract to reserve her time (surprisingly, some of the women weren't interested in this which made me nervous that once the Woowoo comes the baby nurse would have committed to someone else)
Her reference had nothing but great things to say about her so I was sold. I spoke with Y (the baby nurse) yesterday afternoon. She emailed some info and her contract and we agreed to an in-person interview last night. It all happened so quickly my head was spinning and pounding. I literally got a headache from the craziness of how it all went down in the matter of hours.
She came to our apartment at 8pm, but unfortunately Hubby got stuck at a work event and was unable to meet her. Thankfully, I immediately felt comfortable and at ease with her. She was so easy to be around, yet I could tell she was a very strong woman who would help me learn how to care for my new little guy. We chatted for over an hour and half and at the end I signed on the dotted line and gave her a deposit to reserve her for at least two weeks in September.
I'm beyond excited to have found her and relieved to have this taken care of, especially knowing the Woowoo, Hubby and I will be good hands!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Holy hormones
Friday after work I finally went to Des.tina.tion Mater.nity and bought some new bras - thanks for all the advice ladies!! I actually bought nursing bras because my cup size has stayed the same over the last 4-5 months. Even if it does go up (which I still think it will), the bras I bought are designed for growth so I think I'll be OK. I also got a couple bra extenders to try and make my existing old faves last a little longer. Finally, I can breathe again or at least as much as the Woowoo will let me!
Hubby met me for a few other errands and then we went home where I proceeded to have a full hormonal meltdown. It was so stupid that it's laughable now, but at the time I was in tears on the bed curled around my preggo pillow. Essentially it came down to the doorman in our building being an inconsiderate idiot and never telling me that my Fed-Ex package from Monday wasn't picked up. I had zero tolerance for his excuses and let him know it. On top of that, Hubby was tired and hungry from a bad a day at work and wasn't exactly helping me, instead impatiently holding the elevator while I berated the doorman. So basically, I went up to our apartment, stormed into the bedroom and cried because the doorman didn't give my package to the Fed-Ex man. See...totally laughable now. It's the first time I've had a completely irrational, hormonal meltdown and Hubby had no clue what to do with me, which made me cry even more.
I eventually pulled myself together and laughed with Hubby about how ridiculous I was being but I couldn't help it. Even though I knew I was being totally nuts, I couldn't stop myself or the tears. I guess I should be thankful this is the first major meltdown I've had, but geez, did it have to be over the doorman and Fed-Ex?!?!?!
Hubby met me for a few other errands and then we went home where I proceeded to have a full hormonal meltdown. It was so stupid that it's laughable now, but at the time I was in tears on the bed curled around my preggo pillow. Essentially it came down to the doorman in our building being an inconsiderate idiot and never telling me that my Fed-Ex package from Monday wasn't picked up. I had zero tolerance for his excuses and let him know it. On top of that, Hubby was tired and hungry from a bad a day at work and wasn't exactly helping me, instead impatiently holding the elevator while I berated the doorman. So basically, I went up to our apartment, stormed into the bedroom and cried because the doorman didn't give my package to the Fed-Ex man. See...totally laughable now. It's the first time I've had a completely irrational, hormonal meltdown and Hubby had no clue what to do with me, which made me cry even more.
I eventually pulled myself together and laughed with Hubby about how ridiculous I was being but I couldn't help it. Even though I knew I was being totally nuts, I couldn't stop myself or the tears. I guess I should be thankful this is the first major meltdown I've had, but geez, did it have to be over the doorman and Fed-Ex?!?!?!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Quick doc appt update
I had my 27 week growth scan, doc appointment and glucose test this morning. All is well with the Woowoo...he is a big boy measuring in the 85th percentile at 2lbs 13oz. Thankfully his head measurements are right back on track. I still think the last time his numbers were so low was because of bad measuring by the tech (whatever the reason, I'm glad we're back to normal now). Anyway, he's flipped himself to head down. He was breech for so long I wasn't sure he would flip. I realize it's likely he'll still flip around for another month or so, but I'm hoping he learns to like this position:)
I won't know the results of the glucose test until tomorrow morning, but fingers crossed I passed. I hadn't eaten anything since last night so I could drink the nasty orange sugar this morning. It took it's toll. I passed out after the growth scan while the tech was having the doctor review the results. Thankfully Hubby was with me and got a nurse and the doc. They rolled me to my left side and put a cold compress on my forehead. I immediately started feeling better. 10 minutes later I was ready to leave and have my blood drawn. I ate immediately after while waiting to see the doc for my appointment. I was still a little shaky but my blood pressure was normal and the Woowoo was doing gymnastics in my belly so I knew all was good. Scary nonetheless since I've never passed out before.
So basically all is good with the baby and with me and I should just keep doing what I'm doing for another 4 weeks until my next growth scan and doc appt.
On another topic, I had a fabulous time visiting family and at my baby shower this weekend. I'll post all about it in the next few days with some new pics. I will say I have one spoiled (and very loved) little boy!
I won't know the results of the glucose test until tomorrow morning, but fingers crossed I passed. I hadn't eaten anything since last night so I could drink the nasty orange sugar this morning. It took it's toll. I passed out after the growth scan while the tech was having the doctor review the results. Thankfully Hubby was with me and got a nurse and the doc. They rolled me to my left side and put a cold compress on my forehead. I immediately started feeling better. 10 minutes later I was ready to leave and have my blood drawn. I ate immediately after while waiting to see the doc for my appointment. I was still a little shaky but my blood pressure was normal and the Woowoo was doing gymnastics in my belly so I knew all was good. Scary nonetheless since I've never passed out before.
So basically all is good with the baby and with me and I should just keep doing what I'm doing for another 4 weeks until my next growth scan and doc appt.
On another topic, I had a fabulous time visiting family and at my baby shower this weekend. I'll post all about it in the next few days with some new pics. I will say I have one spoiled (and very loved) little boy!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Really? Really?
I've been out of town for the past 10 days on my babymoon. Today is my first day back at work and I was greeted with the comment "Wow, you've really blown up, haven't you?" This from the head of our HR department. How do you respond to that? I was completely taken aback and slightly offended (I say slightly because yes, my belly has gotten bigger, but nothing else). Do people really think it's appropriate to say things like that?!?! Argh...
I'll post soon about my super relaxing babymoon and share some updated pics.
I'll post soon about my super relaxing babymoon and share some updated pics.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Almost 24 week update
As usual I'm running in 25 different directions but wanted to post about my last doctor's appointment, although it was mostly uneventful (I say mostly because there was one measurement that has me a little worried, but I'll explain below in the "UPDATE").
Since I'm short on time I'm going to take the easy way out and use this format:
Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 23 Weeks and 4 days
Size of baby: He currently weighs 1lb, 6oz based on my last doctor's appointment on Monday.
Total Weight Gain: According to my home scale I'm up 13lbs - and the home scale is the only one I'm really paying attention to since I weigh myself every week at the same time on the same day.
Maternity Clothes: I'm about 90% maternity now. There are still two pair of jeans I can wear with the Bella Band but I'm quickly approaching the end of that. I will say the elastic waist is sooo much more comfortable!
Gender: One super-cute (yes, I'm biased) baby boy. He was in a good position at the last appointment and even the tech commented on his cute little nose when we were looking at the 4-D images:)
Movement: He is an active little wiggle worm. He seems to be most active in the early mornings, but I do feel him throughout the day. Yesterday I was able to see him from the outside for the first time. It was surreal!
Sleep: Not too bad these days. I finally caved and bought a "pregnancy pillow" and it has been wonderful. We're leaving for an 8-day vacation on Friday and I wish there was some way I could take the pillow. I'll sacrifice clean underwear for a good night's sleep anytime:)
What I miss: Sushi. Real sushi, not the faux shrimp sushi I have been making do with.
Cravings: Most of my cravings came in the first trimester and even then it wasn't anything that I didn't already eat. The one thing I haven't had since I was a kid and I simply HAD TO HAVE recently was pistachio pudding. It was heavenly!
Symptoms: I'm still having residual discomfort from the fibriods, but I think that's going to be my new "norm" for the remainder of the pregnancy so I've gotten used to it. I've also started to get some ankle swelling but not full blown cankles...yet.
Milestones: I'm in an odd in-between period. Because of my vacation next week I had to change my 24-week appointment to a 23-week appointment so it's throwing off the milestones. For some reason, 24-weeks feels like a big number. And I know 28 weeks will be huge when I cross over to the third trimester. For now, I'm on auto-pilot.
UPDATE: Everything went well at my 23-week appointment on Monday, but there was one number that the doctor mentioned. She said it wasn't anything to worry about but the Woowoo's head circumference was on the very low side of normal while all his other numbers were on the high side. He's still in the breech position which can affect the head size. The doctor who reads the ultrasound results didn't even mention it and said the Woowoo was in the 65th percentile and looked good. I'm trying not to freak myself out about the low number, but I admit it's going to be a long 4 weeks until my next growth scan. Dr. Google hasn't been my friend and resulted in some scary findings, so I'm done with him for now. I'm not totally confident the tech took accurate measurements because she only measured 3 of my fibriods when I know there are 6 and the 3 she did measure grew?!?! That makes no sense. The immense pain I was in is a strong indicator that the fibriods have been shrinking, not growing. Anyway, these are the thoughts I'm using to try and keep myself sane and not going into a full blown panic meltdown (I admit I was on the verge yesterday, but feel better today). Regardless, I love my little Woowoo more than I thought I could and want to protect him from anything bad...ever!
Since I'm short on time I'm going to take the easy way out and use this format:
Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 23 Weeks and 4 days
Size of baby: He currently weighs 1lb, 6oz based on my last doctor's appointment on Monday.
Total Weight Gain: According to my home scale I'm up 13lbs - and the home scale is the only one I'm really paying attention to since I weigh myself every week at the same time on the same day.
Maternity Clothes: I'm about 90% maternity now. There are still two pair of jeans I can wear with the Bella Band but I'm quickly approaching the end of that. I will say the elastic waist is sooo much more comfortable!
Gender: One super-cute (yes, I'm biased) baby boy. He was in a good position at the last appointment and even the tech commented on his cute little nose when we were looking at the 4-D images:)
Movement: He is an active little wiggle worm. He seems to be most active in the early mornings, but I do feel him throughout the day. Yesterday I was able to see him from the outside for the first time. It was surreal!
Sleep: Not too bad these days. I finally caved and bought a "pregnancy pillow" and it has been wonderful. We're leaving for an 8-day vacation on Friday and I wish there was some way I could take the pillow. I'll sacrifice clean underwear for a good night's sleep anytime:)
What I miss: Sushi. Real sushi, not the faux shrimp sushi I have been making do with.
Cravings: Most of my cravings came in the first trimester and even then it wasn't anything that I didn't already eat. The one thing I haven't had since I was a kid and I simply HAD TO HAVE recently was pistachio pudding. It was heavenly!
Symptoms: I'm still having residual discomfort from the fibriods, but I think that's going to be my new "norm" for the remainder of the pregnancy so I've gotten used to it. I've also started to get some ankle swelling but not full blown cankles...yet.
Milestones: I'm in an odd in-between period. Because of my vacation next week I had to change my 24-week appointment to a 23-week appointment so it's throwing off the milestones. For some reason, 24-weeks feels like a big number. And I know 28 weeks will be huge when I cross over to the third trimester. For now, I'm on auto-pilot.
UPDATE: Everything went well at my 23-week appointment on Monday, but there was one number that the doctor mentioned. She said it wasn't anything to worry about but the Woowoo's head circumference was on the very low side of normal while all his other numbers were on the high side. He's still in the breech position which can affect the head size. The doctor who reads the ultrasound results didn't even mention it and said the Woowoo was in the 65th percentile and looked good. I'm trying not to freak myself out about the low number, but I admit it's going to be a long 4 weeks until my next growth scan. Dr. Google hasn't been my friend and resulted in some scary findings, so I'm done with him for now. I'm not totally confident the tech took accurate measurements because she only measured 3 of my fibriods when I know there are 6 and the 3 she did measure grew?!?! That makes no sense. The immense pain I was in is a strong indicator that the fibriods have been shrinking, not growing. Anyway, these are the thoughts I'm using to try and keep myself sane and not going into a full blown panic meltdown (I admit I was on the verge yesterday, but feel better today). Regardless, I love my little Woowoo more than I thought I could and want to protect him from anything bad...ever!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day Recap
For the past couple of years I've intentionally ignored Mother's Day. Primarily because I didn't need yet another reminder that I'd lost my mom, but more recently because I wasn't a mom myself...yet.
This year I'm physically different in a good way, but Mother's Day is still a painful reminder of how much I miss my mom, so my plan was treat it as any other typical Sunday...just business as usual. My well-intentioned family and friends didn't let that happen. I received lots of nice texts, cards, gifts, etc. with Happy Mommy-To-Be messages. It was so sweet and thoughtful of them, but mentally I wasn't quite ready to handle all of it.
I graciously accepted all the well-wishes, but it really made me look back and reflect on things. Primarily on how far I've come through the whole IF process (I chose to still ignore Mother's Day when relating to my mom). I realized just how painful it is for those trying for a baby (regardless if it's through natural methods, ART, adoption, etc.) to be surrounded by constant reminders of mommies for an entire day. My heart goes out to all those trying, and please know I was thinking about all of you!
This year I'm physically different in a good way, but Mother's Day is still a painful reminder of how much I miss my mom, so my plan was treat it as any other typical Sunday...just business as usual. My well-intentioned family and friends didn't let that happen. I received lots of nice texts, cards, gifts, etc. with Happy Mommy-To-Be messages. It was so sweet and thoughtful of them, but mentally I wasn't quite ready to handle all of it.
I graciously accepted all the well-wishes, but it really made me look back and reflect on things. Primarily on how far I've come through the whole IF process (I chose to still ignore Mother's Day when relating to my mom). I realized just how painful it is for those trying for a baby (regardless if it's through natural methods, ART, adoption, etc.) to be surrounded by constant reminders of mommies for an entire day. My heart goes out to all those trying, and please know I was thinking about all of you!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The good and the bad
I had my follow-up ultrasound and doc appointment this morning. It's mostly good news with a little not-so-good sprinkled in to keep me on my toes.
The good news is the pain was caused by the fibroids and definitely not appendicitis or pre-term labor. The Woowoo also flipped himself over so he's head down now. It's still so early that it's not a big deal, but regardless I hope he stays that way!
The not-so-good news is that there are double the amount of fibroids than they originally counted. I now have 6 annoying fibroids hanging out on my uterus. Some of them are degenerating which is causing all the pain. The pain has subsided a lot, but is definitely still present. I asked the doctor what I can expect for the remainder of the pregnancy and he said there isn't a definite answer. He did say, most women experience the worst of it now through the next 2-4 weeks and then it should get better. Fabulous...right when Hubby and I are taking our babymoon.
The most important thing is that there is no harm to Woowoo, just pain for momma. But I'll deal with it knowing my baby is still growing big and strong in my belly:)
Thanks for all the thoughts!
The good news is the pain was caused by the fibroids and definitely not appendicitis or pre-term labor. The Woowoo also flipped himself over so he's head down now. It's still so early that it's not a big deal, but regardless I hope he stays that way!
The not-so-good news is that there are double the amount of fibroids than they originally counted. I now have 6 annoying fibroids hanging out on my uterus. Some of them are degenerating which is causing all the pain. The pain has subsided a lot, but is definitely still present. I asked the doctor what I can expect for the remainder of the pregnancy and he said there isn't a definite answer. He did say, most women experience the worst of it now through the next 2-4 weeks and then it should get better. Fabulous...right when Hubby and I are taking our babymoon.
The most important thing is that there is no harm to Woowoo, just pain for momma. But I'll deal with it knowing my baby is still growing big and strong in my belly:)
Thanks for all the thoughts!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
An unexpected doctor's visit
I got to see my sweet boy again yesterday morning...unscheduled.
Over the weekend I had some general discomfort/pressure in my lower abdominal region, mostly on my right side. I didn't really think much of it and figured it was just more growing pains. I woke up for work Monday morning and all hell broke loose. I was in the shower doubled over in pain that was sharp, stabby and then would turn to constant and achy. Regardless of the type of pain, it was pain! Pain to the point I could barely walk.
I finished my shower, toweled off and hobbled into the bedroom where Hubby was just waking up. He sat bolt upright when he saw my face and I broke down in tears and simply said "I don't feel well." He was very calm and reassuring and asked what hurt, if I was spotting, and if I'd felt the baby. Thank God for his calm reaction. I was a basket case and on the brink of total meltdown at that point. He gently pointed out that it might be the fibriods causing the problems. I was so worried it was the Woowoo it never crossed my mind that it might be fibriods.
Anyway, I calmed down, got dressed and settled into the couch to wait for the docs office to open. As soon as I reached them I spoke to the midwife, told her what the problems were and she scheduled me to go in for a visit. One of the benefits of living 6 blocks from your OB/GYN is the ability to go in immediately. Within an hour I was explaining my symptoms to Dr. G (who I met for the first time and LOVED!). The first thing she did was have me lie back and turned on the sound on the ultrasound machine. I heard the tiny heartbeat and immediately started crying. I can usually keep it together better than that, but I was so scared for my Woowoo that I couldn't have controlled my emotions if I tried. She was so comforting and told me he looked great. He was kicking up a storm in my belly. Never in my life have those little kicks been so welcome!
After a lot of painful probing, prodding and poking Dr G. felt the pain was coming from one of the fibroids in the lower right area of my abdomen. But, she didn't rule out appendicitis. She consulted with Dr. R. and he agreed that it was most likely the fibroid. She gave me a pain medicine prescription (not harmful to the baby) and scheduled a follow-up for Thursday morning.
I went home mentally and emotionally exhausted, ate lunch, took my pain med and slept the rest of the afternoon. I'm back at work today, but still in quite a bit of pain. Somehow I'm able to deal with the pain knowing my sweet baby is OK and not at all affected by my fibroid. In fact, he's so unfazed by it that he keeps kicking me in that area!
I will say I am so, so thankful to be under the care of the doctors at my practice. They put me totally at ease and knew my biggest concern was making sure the baby was OK. It's nice to know I have doctors who care and "get it".
Now, if only the pain would go away...
Over the weekend I had some general discomfort/pressure in my lower abdominal region, mostly on my right side. I didn't really think much of it and figured it was just more growing pains. I woke up for work Monday morning and all hell broke loose. I was in the shower doubled over in pain that was sharp, stabby and then would turn to constant and achy. Regardless of the type of pain, it was pain! Pain to the point I could barely walk.
I finished my shower, toweled off and hobbled into the bedroom where Hubby was just waking up. He sat bolt upright when he saw my face and I broke down in tears and simply said "I don't feel well." He was very calm and reassuring and asked what hurt, if I was spotting, and if I'd felt the baby. Thank God for his calm reaction. I was a basket case and on the brink of total meltdown at that point. He gently pointed out that it might be the fibriods causing the problems. I was so worried it was the Woowoo it never crossed my mind that it might be fibriods.
Anyway, I calmed down, got dressed and settled into the couch to wait for the docs office to open. As soon as I reached them I spoke to the midwife, told her what the problems were and she scheduled me to go in for a visit. One of the benefits of living 6 blocks from your OB/GYN is the ability to go in immediately. Within an hour I was explaining my symptoms to Dr. G (who I met for the first time and LOVED!). The first thing she did was have me lie back and turned on the sound on the ultrasound machine. I heard the tiny heartbeat and immediately started crying. I can usually keep it together better than that, but I was so scared for my Woowoo that I couldn't have controlled my emotions if I tried. She was so comforting and told me he looked great. He was kicking up a storm in my belly. Never in my life have those little kicks been so welcome!
After a lot of painful probing, prodding and poking Dr G. felt the pain was coming from one of the fibroids in the lower right area of my abdomen. But, she didn't rule out appendicitis. She consulted with Dr. R. and he agreed that it was most likely the fibroid. She gave me a pain medicine prescription (not harmful to the baby) and scheduled a follow-up for Thursday morning.
I went home mentally and emotionally exhausted, ate lunch, took my pain med and slept the rest of the afternoon. I'm back at work today, but still in quite a bit of pain. Somehow I'm able to deal with the pain knowing my sweet baby is OK and not at all affected by my fibroid. In fact, he's so unfazed by it that he keeps kicking me in that area!
I will say I am so, so thankful to be under the care of the doctors at my practice. They put me totally at ease and knew my biggest concern was making sure the baby was OK. It's nice to know I have doctors who care and "get it".
Now, if only the pain would go away...
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