5 months...a week late

Wow, this whole working mom thing (even part time), is really taking up my computer/blogging time. I know I shouldn't complain because I'm so fortunate to have worked out my current situation, but I miss my computer time!

Anyway, Will had his 5-month checkup last Monday. All went well and the boy is doing great. He weighs 15lbs, 12oz and is 26.75" long! He definitely had a growth spurt from his 4-month checkup. The doctor told us it was time to start solids, so guess what we're doing tonight?!?! I'm excited to see how he does with it. I'm skipping the rice cereal and starting with oatmeal because it has more nutritional value and then we'll move on to either carrots or butternut squash.

Will is still being stubborn with his rolling over. He's so close to rolling onto his back but just can't quite get there (or rather he won't get there, because I'm convinced he can). What he can do is sit up. The doctor was a little surprised at how well he's able to sit up. He tripods a little but can sit up for a short time on his own.

Last night Hubby and I decided to go cold turkey with the swaddle. We figured it was time for Will to sleep without it since he's approaching 6 months. We decided to lose the swaddle for night time sleep since he's always able to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up, unlike his naps (which are much better, but still not as good as night time). It worked surprisingly well. He woke around 4am and 5:15am but went back to sleep both times. He woke again around 6am and was talking to himself and kicking his legs. This wasn't too unusual since he typically does this, but usually goes back to sleep. Well without the swaddle, he decided it would be a good idea to roll from his back to his tummy — for the first time! Everything would have been fine, but the little dude couldn't roll back over to his tummy so he got pissed. Hubby went in and gave him a quick swaddle and he went back to sleep until 8:15am. That boy LOVES his swaddle!

We've decided that our experiment went pretty well, but we need to get him to roll from tummy to back before we can do this again (that's our goal for this week). Will and I are going to Ohio to visit Grandma next weekend while Hubby goes skiing with his brother, so we'll likely go back and try the no swaddle after that.

In other news, Will has been doing great with the nanny. She absolutely loves him and he smiles when he sees her come into the apartment in the mornings. She's really good about taking him out for walks and to his play date and music class during the week. It makes being away from him much easier.

He is such a smiley baby in general. He doesn't laugh too much, but when we do get him going it's the funniest sound, Hubby and I crack up every time. He's still fascinated with his tongue and loves blowing his razberries. He's constantly talking and squealing and recognizes himself in the mirror now. He's even starting to acknowledge the cat, but still not showing too much interest in playing with him yet. I think the cat is just fine with that!

I still can't believe he's on his way to 6 months old. I'm loving every new stage Will experiences (even the fussy/cranky ones). It's amazing to watch my sweet boy take in more and more of the world around him!

Two months: The good and the bad

I really, really need to get more consistent with blogging...sorry for yet another bulleted list post.

• Will turned two months old on Friday. We went to the doctor on Thursday for his checkup and first round of vaccines. He's right on target, weighing 11lbs. 1oz and 23.5" long. He did pretty well with the vaccines but was very tired and fussy the rest of the day and all day Friday. Poor little guy.

• I'm getting consistent smiles and coos from him which is awesome. They are the most abundant in the morning or right after he has really stinky farts (and let me tell you, this boy can fart!).

• He's starting to intentionally put his hands in his mouth. It's hilarious because when he gets them in there he sucks with such passion I'm surprised he hasn't hurt himself. It's so loud Hubby heard it two rooms away the other day! And he likes to double fist. I guess he takes after his Daddy during his college years.

• The sleeping is still a work in progress, but we seem to be down to one night time feeding around 3-4am. At his age, I'm not complaining! I know how lucky we are that he's a good sleeper. I keep waiting for something to happen that will blow up this good thing we have going on. I know I should just relax and enjoy the fact that my 9-week old baby can sleep for 12 hours and only wake once, but I can't. I want to enjoy it, but how do I retrain my brain to not expect the worst?!?!

• I'm still pumping and nursing him once in the morning. I'm becoming very resentful of the damn pump, but loving the morning time with my little man. I don't want to stop nursing him, but for my own sanity I'm going to start weaning him at 10 weeks. It's so bittersweet because we're pros with the nursing but the damn pump is my nemesis. I can't get rid of the guilt either. I've tried to come to terms with my sucky situation of a low supply, but I still feel like I've failed him in some way. Even though I know I haven't.

• I love routine. I like to know when things are going to happen and get a little flustered when my routine gets derailed. I thought having a newborn would fit right into my love of routine, but it doesn't, at least not in the way I was used to having a routine. Yes, there is a routine. Yes, I generally know how things are going to play out, but OH MY GOD is it monotonous. I never knew my life would be subdivided into 3-4 hour segments like this. Why don't people tell you this? Or did they tell me and I didn't pay attention?

• In general I know we've gotten extremely lucky with Will. He's usually a very happy, content and sweet baby. Sure he has his fussy days and days when I can't do anything right by him, but what baby doesn't? All of my issues with motherhood are my own issues. The guilt over the breastfeeding, the resentment towards Will for making my days so boring sometimes, the feelings that I'm doing something wrong that is going to screw him up for life, the general feeling of inadequacy as a mother that I feel. I'm a perfectionist and I think that is playing a huge part in how I feel. I can only control so much when it comes to a baby and that is hard for me to wrap my head around at times. As time passes I'm getting better about cutting myself some slack, but there is always going to be a part of me that wonders "am I REALLY doing the best I can for my son?"

• Despite my crazy feelings, I really do grow more in love with Will everyday. With this face, how could I not?!?!

Double digits and a new doc

I hit the 10 week mark yesterday...woohoo! I know that's not necessarily a milestone, but being in the double digits feels good. I had my first OB appointment on Thursday (9w5d) and the Woowoo measured in at 10w0d. Apparently we were both anxious to hit the double digit mark.

After a lot of research, phone calls, and reference requests I was able to get into a very well respected, cutting edge, OB/GYN practice near my apartment. I wasn't really concerned with the location, but the proximity to my apartment and the delivering hospital is an added bonus. I met with my doctor and he was wonderful. I was with him for almost two hours and never felt rushed. He really took his time to talk with me about everything. I think (hope) I'll be an easy patient for him. The practice specializes in high risk and multiples and I'm not either of those. But he didn't seem to mind and treated me with as much as care as I assume he gives to his high risk and multiple moms-to-be.

The cysties are still hanging around, but they have reduced in size (just under 6cm on the left and 7.5cm on the right). He wants them both to be well under 6cm before he'll allow to me start running again, but he thinks that will happen in the next few weeks.

My next appointment is Friday 2/25. I'm scheduled for my NT scan, genetic counseling and then my 12 week OB appointment with one of his colleagues. I can't believe I have to wait a full two weeks to see my little Woowoo again. I've definitely been spoiled with the weekly ultrasounds!

I also started with my pre-natal trainer last week. Um, I need to make a mental note to not go three months without picking up a weight again. Sore is an understatement. It was a good sore though, a sore that I've missed. Fortunately he's certified in pre-natal training so he knows what I should and shouldn't do to make sure the Woowoo is well protected. I'm hoping he'll help me keep my body in check for the next seven months and make my delivery a little easier on my body.

I have a busy week ahead with lots of work (both full time AND freelance), a few dinner plans and training sessions. The three-day weekend coming can't come soon enough.